- - Open up my eyes

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

In a short space of time Zack's whole carefree existance had come crashing down. Holden had just dropped the bombshell he had suspected all along. Not to say he was not pleased with the prospect of becoming a father but Zachary needed to adjust to the news. It had not helped that Holden had apparently blocked him on AIM after revealing the news. Sure he could have reacted a little better but still.

Having paced his dorm room for quite some time before deciding to actually go and do something about this whole mess he had managed to create. Slipping on his jacket Zach exited his room and hurried down the corridors leaving the dorm building and heading directly towards his motor cycle. Kicking the stand up and starting the beast up Zachary made good time getting to Holden's even if it was practically the other side of town.

Born and raised in Manhattan, Zach had come to San Fransisco when he was Fifteen. He'd quickly become popular and plenty of friends crowded around him. Holden had caught his eye pretty early on and after some mild seduction on his part he'd managed to get her attentions too. On arrival Zachary practically jumped off the bike. Hurrying towards the door he thumped hard with his fists pacing a little as he waited for an answer.

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: Well tis a start SILENCE! XD

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

she knew who it was before she even opened the door. who else would arrive at this time of night on that obnoxious motorcycle that whined when you braked. who else would be so inconsiderate of the fact that her parents were asleep and that she herself could very well be asleep. she wiped at her wet cheeks with the sleeves of her shirt before walking through the house, avoiding obstacles, and practically holding her stomach up.

she didn't bother to ask who it was or to peer through the peep hole. she opened the door, the words already escaping her mouth. what do you want, zach? she was blaming the tears on the mood swings and her lousy mood on him. how dare he wait this long to ask if this baby was his? how dare he be such and asshole when she finally told him the truth? how dare he turn up on her door step?

she stepped out onto the porch, the wood cold on her bare feet. it may be california, but holden was always cold. she closed the door behind her, hoping that would keep enough sound out. she'd hate if her parents were to wake and find zachary blithe on the door step with their eighteen year old pregnant harlot of a daughter. she pulled her sleeves over her hands and crossed them over her stomach, and if jamie needed kept warm. well, she snapped. what is it?

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

Zachary had never been one who took other people's situations into considiration. The guy was a little selfish. Hell he was very selfish. But what Holden had told him could not remain that way. They needed to discuss things and it could not wait until morning. Sure he'd drank three beers but he'd made it to Holden's in one piece. In truth he was not even buzzed.

Seeing the door open Zachary's stomach began to do flips. The nerves that had been present since Holden had told him were becoming to the surface. He frowned at her question "What do you think I want?" Zachary asked angrily. Zack knew that Holden was beyond pissed at him for the way he had reacted but he needed some answers and somethings needed to be discussed. The male would be damned if he was going to leave without talking things through.

"Again do you really need to ask?" Zachary stated narrowing his eyes slightly. Without waiting for an invitation the male slipped past Holden into the house. Careful not to bump into her baby bump he made hisway into the living room and plonked himself on the couch. Waiting for her to come in the male folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head to the side. He had questions he needed to ask but the male was not about to start shouting the last thing he needed was her parents coming down and starting to lecture him on the importance of condoms.

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: aand we're rolling =P

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

she wanted to keep yelling at him, she wanted to kick him off of her porch - literally, with her foot hitting him hard in the ass - and she wanted him gone. she opened her mouth to continue yelling and her toes tingled with want, but he passed her, swiftly, as if gliding. she ground her teeth and balled her fists. fucker, she muttered, before apologizing to her baby bump.

she was doing her best to not swear or be angry while pregnant. she entered her house, shutting the door roughly, but not slamming it. yes, i'm sure i know what the topic is, but what do you want? she was grinding her teeth, trying to keep her volume and temper down. you got me pregnant, woo hoo! that's it. that's all there is. i don't expect anything of you, zach. i don't expect you to buy diapers or stay awake with him at night. i didn't tell you because i don't expect anything of you. she was trying to make it sound less i don't have high expectations for you and more i've made my bed and now i'll lay in it.

she sighed and swept her sandy hair away from her eyes. she looked to him on her couch, half wanting to sit there, too, and fall asleep - her homework was finally finished and this whole ordeal was certainly tiring - and half wanting to smack him upside his head - how dare he make himself so comfortable in her house!? she stood, her arms crossed tight over her stomach, as if she were covering jamie's ears.

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

Zachary was not exactly father of the year material that was for sure. In fact he had never before though about being a father. It was just not one of the things that crossed a guy's mind. He'd never actually thought of ever having kids. But all of that had been blasted out of the water and now the male was faced with the prospect of father hood. Much to his surprise it seemed like an ok sort of thing. Having heard Holden's comment but having chosen to ignore it Zach stood up and turned to face her as soon as she came into the room.

"How the fuck don't you expect anything from me?!" He asked narrowing his eyes "I'm the kid's dad...and you're just going to block me out of his life like that? What the hell Holden. Correct me if I am fucking wrong here but I never treated you like shit, Never cheated on you or slapped you around so what exactly have I done to deserve this can of bullshit your opening?!" His voice rose for a moment but he quickly lowered it remembering he did not need Holden's parents coming down and throwing about the abuse and their opinions.

Stepping over to Holden and looking down at the baby bump before he glanced into her eyes Zachary frowned setting his hand on her stomach lightly "You want to raise the kid alone? Holden have you even considered how hard that would be? and here I am fucking willing to help you out but you're too goddamned proud to accept my offer!"

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: I am still rolliing

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

holden listened to him yell, wincing, and glancing back and forth from the stairs to zachary. the last thing the two of them needed was for her parents to intercede. she was betting they were awake, listening with nearly perked ears. the baby had a father and their daughter knew him, that may settle their nerves a little and keep them away to "mind their own business". holden sighed and wiped at her face. she frowned and placed all of her weight onto one foot, her head cocked.

we couldn't even last a month in a relationship, zach, she whispered. he was close enough, speaking loudly or yelling wasn't necessary. she looked up at him, apologetic but defensive. how can we handle a lifetime of being shoved together? that's what this would involve, spending the rest of our lives being shoved together, forced to share something..someone, she corrected. she wiped at her face again and groaned. she hated hormones. she hated mood swings. she hated the way jamie had started kicking when zach placed his hand on her belly.

i didn't mean to keep it from you. i just didn't... i didn't know what to do. i never saw this coming. i always planned on graduation, college, college graduation, start a career, find a husband, then have a kid. i skipped so many steps and it threw me off track, i.. she placed her hand on her stomach beside his, hoping to make jamie stop kicking. i figured raising him by myself would be hard, but i've always done my best work when it was a challenge. i wasn't afraid.

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

How could it be possible to love and hate women all at the same time. Holden was infuriating him with her excuses. Sighing Zachary followed her gaze to the stairs and shook his head. Maybe catching her in school would have been the smart thing to do but Zack had not exactly been thinking rationally when he'd hopped on his bike to come over.

"Holden who said we have to be together to raise the kid together?" Zachary asked with a shake of his head "You know plenty of divorced parents have joint custody of their kids, Don't mean they gotta share a bed" He frowned slightly "Hey now! That was a damned good month and don't you deny it" He said giving her a cheeky grin accompanied by a sly wink. They may have not lasted all that long but they'd had fun he was not about to deny that.

Looking up at Holden Zachary shook his head "You don't have to do this alone though Holden why don't you get that. We don't need to be together to be mom and dad..and It's not like I'll constantly turn up without giving you a warning..I never thought about kids before..and now I..you're carrying MY son and I dunno what to do Holden..we're just fucking kids ourselves but..I want to be in his life." Sighing he looked down "You know...make up for the mistakes my dad made..and..be good dad not some coward who runs away..I mean what will you tell the kid when he's older and asks where his dad is?"

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: rolling onwardsss

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

she shook her head. that's not what i meant, z. i mean, being together, as in sharing him on christmas and his birthday and the first day of school and his graduation, she shook her head. i don't want to share, but i don't want to have joint custody, and i don't want you to show up on my door step wanting to see your son, and i don't want you to ignore him, and i .. really want to stop making complaints, but if you're going to be in his life, we have to consider how this is all going to work out before he's actually here.

she rolled her eyes and chuckled. oh yea, a whole month of fun. the type of fun our son is not allowed to have until he's married or thirty. which ever comes first. she straightened her neck and shook her hair out of her face, wishing she'd put her golden locks into a pony tail. she leaned forward, resting her forehead on his collar bone. she nodded. she hadn't bothered to think much on zach or his past or his feelings on parenthood or what she would tell jamie when he asked for his father. she had only thought about long nights, dirty diapers, and him hating her for getting herself pregnant and giving birth. i wasn't thinking, she muttered. i'm sorry.

she kept her one hand on her belly and reached the other up to wrap around his neck, keeping her forehead on his collar bone. she hadn't hugged zach in awhile..actually, she hadn't managed to give anyone a real hug since her belly grew. you swear too much and you smell like beer, she complained groggily, mumbling into his t shirt.

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

that's not what i meant, z. i mean, being together, as in sharing him on christmas and his birthday and the first day of school and his graduation Zachary frowned slightly and shook his head "I think we could handle a few hours together without wanting to kill each other Holden" He said as he struggled to remain calm. Not only had he discovered that he was becoming a father but Holden was going to block him from seeing the child. Shaking his head the teen bit down on his lip to stop a retort that was about to slip from his lips "You don't want to share?!" Zachary's voice boomed.

"Yeah we might not have been careful" He said lowering his voice a little "But it happens part of growing up you know..and come on be serious Jamie cannot be a virgin at thirty. I mean honestly...just look who his daddy is" Giving a weak smile the high school senior looked at Holden for a long moment before he averted his gaze. The silence which followed was uncomfortable but Zack had no idea what to say. When finally she spoke Zachary nodded Sorry? Yeah.." Mumbled the teen.

As soon as Holden reached over Zach's arms went around her stomach "Yeah well..nobody's perfect" He whispered back "Besides it was my swearing and my constant beer drinking which attracted you in the first place so don't go denying it. I know it's true" He said with a weak smile.

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: rolling onwardsss

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

she barely winced as he yelled, she knew he'd be upset. she would be, too. but no, no she didn't want to share. when he joked about their sons future sex life, comparing it to his own, holden felt sick. she wasn't sure if it was the thought of having slept with a man who'd shared a bed with half of san fransisco or if it was simply a symptom of her current condition. i dun wanna look at his daddy, she muttered into his shirt, her eyes closed tight.

having zachary in her and jamie's life wouldn't be horrible, she knew that. she couldn't help but watch the newly revised plans for life - teaching him to use a crayon, hearing i love you, mama as she tucked him in, holding him when the night was dark and lit only my lightening, buying him a pet rabbit, teaching him how to ride a bike and shoot a free throw - would needed revised. she would have no choice but to share. she supposed zach could show him some useful things. she couldn't think of much more than how to pick a good car, how to pick a fight, and how to pick up women, but she knew that was her bad mood. she knew zach had his high points as well as his low points.

holden laughed lightly, shrugging. every girl needs to date a bad boy. at least one and at least once. even the girls like me, she meant the kind of girl that planned everything years ahead of time, was raised wrestling and paint balling and playing basketball in the drive way, that didn't learn how to wear a skirt or her make up properly until the cheer leaders took her under their wing, didn't have her first kiss until she was fifteen, and didn't have her first real boyfriend until zach. it's a sort of unspoken law - the bad boy law - and you know me, i'm no law breaker. she yawned into his shirt.

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

i dun wanna look at his daddy Frowning Zachary shook his head but kept his arms wraped around Holden "and why not?" He asked softly "His daddy never hurt you Holden. Just you know stuff doesn't work out that's the way it is" Sighing the male closed his eyes bringing one hand up to brush through her hair. "Never thought i'd be a dad you know...this is just..wow" Pulling back from the hug Zachary glanced down at her.

He could tell from her expression that she was thinking about something but deciding it was best not to ask Zach shrugged and pulled her in for another hug. He did have his high points but the only problem was Zachary did stupid things that normally over shadowed the good things that he did and so they went unnoticed most of the time.

"What do you mean girls like you Holden huh? You're awesome for a good girl I mean" He said with a smile. "Oh yeah us bad boys are really addicting once you get a taste of us you know..I can see why you were under my charming spell" Laughing Zach continued to brush his fingers through her hair "So..are we going to decide on what the next step is?" He asked as she yawned "Or should I wait until you've been to sleep and call you up in the morning or something?"

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: rolling onwardsss

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

holden half smiled. a good girl, she repeated. exactly. no one will believe it now, but yes, i'm a good girl. she nuzzled her face into his shirt. she kept quiet for a minute, nearly falling asleep. she rewound and watched the previous seven months or so in her head. her month with zach, wild and frustrating and something that didn't break her heart when it ended but she'd never regret. the month after, when she found out she was pregnant, and began to date boy after boy, knowing that people would ask who dun it? when holden started to show. the next four months when her stomach grew and so did her irritability and the boys stopped turning up at her locker and on her door step.

one boy had turned up on her door step within that four months and it was tonight and it was the man who was holding her right now. sure, they'd swore and screamed and chewed their lips, but here he was, hugging her and holding her and stroking her hair. i don't want to dread seeing you at his birthday party or at christmas, she spoke so clearly she even surprised herself. she was sure she'd fallen asleep there, standing up, her head resting on his shoulder. i'm not going to dread seeing you. i want you there for every band concert or basketball game and to scold him for every failing grade on his report card and to save him from the bullies at school and to show him how to be a man. can't we be friends, zach? can't we put aside everything bad and start over - we used to be such good friends - and, just, raise him..raise jamie.

she looked up at him. i'm tired, she said, as if that were the answer to his question, though it really wasn't. she nodded. tomorrow we'll talk. call me, e-mail me, stay the night, text me, IM me, she gave him a list of options of how to contact her the next morning.

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

Zachary shook his head "Holden just because you're pregnant does not mean you're a whore" He stated firmly "Nobody can say you sleep around hell if they try to I'll beat them for you ok?" That was not true considering Holden's actions after they had broken up but Zachary did not know the full details and if Holden said he was the only guy she had ever slept with then he was not about to start questioning it. For Zack everything was happening so quickly that he still needed to actually get his head around becoming a father and with only two more months to do it it seemed a little much. But if he was going to freak out he'd do it once he was far away from Holden.

"Hey now why would you ever dread seeing me?" Zachary joked looking down at her. He smiled slightly tilting his head to the side. Since he had dated Holden, Zach had dated and slept with other women there was denying it. His dirty laundry was spread around the high school like there was no tomorrow. But that was the thing - Zachary Blithe hardly cared what others thought about him and so everything he did, He did publically just to piss off those who dispised him.

can't we be friends, zach? can't we put aside everything bad and start over - we used to be such good friends - and, just, raise him..raise jamie. A warm smile spread across Zachary's face lighting up his normally broody features he nodded slowly "Sure we can I mean we need to be matur..I need to be mature" He corrected himself. Hell Holden was mature she had been ready to raise the kid on her own. It was his turn to step up to his responsibilities "We can be friends Holden" He said with a smile.

Laughing as she began to list his options Zach looked around "What would your mom say if she came down stairs in the morning to find me sprawled out on her couch huh? I doubt she'd appreciate it actually I think I might be chased from the house..." He did want to stay the night, Talk with Holden for as long as possible before she fell asleep. But it was up to her.

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: rolling onwardsss

[HOLDEN MAYBEL ARMSTRONG]

holden laughed at the thought. she pictured her mother waking up to find zachary blithe on her couch. she could already see the curve and lift of her mothers plucked eyebrow, it would disappear behind her sandy blonde bangs and wouldn't reappear until he woke up or holden entered to explain. that was, if her mother found him. if her father found him, well, she was trying to decide if her father would take lethal actions or if he'd simmered down since her pregnancy announcement. he was usually a reasonable man, so he'd probably wake zach up and ask him to leave, a stern look on his face. zach's real trouble would have been holden's older brothers finding him, but brody was off at yale and seth off at the pittsburgh institute of aeronautics.

but holden hadn't meant for holden to sleep on the couch. she honestly hadn't thought it through when she made the offer, but now she knew. no, you can stay, she mumbled and held up a fingers representing one minute while she diappeared into the back wing of the house. he family wasn't rich, but their suburban home was rather large for a three bedroom, two and a half bathroom house. brody and seth had always shared a bedroom and holden had always had her own. once she had hit puberty, her parents swapped the bedrooms, and gave her the one in its own part of the house, with it's own bathroom. she wasn't going to let him stay in there, though. she simply entered her room to change into a pair of her cheer sweats and one of her brothers t shirts, brushed her teeth and braided her hair before returning.

she pressed her finger to his lips, telling him silently to keep quiet as she lead him up stairs and to a bedroom in the back hall. closing the door behind him, she pointed to one of two twin sized beds. you can have brody's bed. i'll take seths. she placed her cell phone on the night stand, its alarm set to wake her in less than six hours for school the next day. well, if jamie didn't wake her up first. well, if she ever got to sleep.

[ZACHARY ADAM BLITHE]

I will be a revolution,
Be a voice beyond these lies

If it takes my life.
And I will not be lost in silence

Zachary had woken up in some strange places over his eighteen years on the earth. But never before had he woken up to a scolding mother or a pissed off father and so he was not about to start. Rubbing at the back of his neck Zachary gave Holden a quick smile before taking a small step back away from her Arching an eyebrow as she walked away the male was left standing in the center of the living room.

When she finally returned the male opened his mouth to speak only to be greeted by a finger pressed to his lips. Smiling slightly he nodded as he allowed her to lead him up the stairs. At first a few dodgy thoughts rushed through the male's mind but those were quickly wiped away as soon as Holden said you can have brody's bed. i'll take seths. A small frown formed across his brow but none the less Zachary nodded.

Moving across the room and sitting down on the bed Zach smiled over at her "You sure your parents aren't going to wander in here in the morning and find me? because I'd much rather not be beat up by your father for being here" Zach laughed lightly and patted the space beside him "Come sit with me for a few minutes?" He asked.

They still had a lot to talk about but Holden was tired and Zach had no plans on keeping her awake much longer but he needed to ask her one question before they settled in for the night to sleep.

Status: DONE
Words: Who knows =P
Tagged: Holden/Kara-RAAAA
Notes: rolling onwardsss